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Ubi Sunt - Unmastered Edition

by Ben Hoganson

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1.
Gone were the years and gray went the embers The old songs sing of rails The curtains were sheer those nights in September The lake winds made them sails Dancing like ghosts, forever to haunt me Those days are gone, but ever are with me North to the pines, past Moose Lake and Barnum My forebears signed their names Families left, though no fortunes followed Staking humble claims I carry their names. Forever they haunt. They may be gone, but ever are with me Vows we avow in the light of the morning Crunching feet in snow Shining the sun, so bright it could blind me It's brightest when it's cold How my heart shines in the glow of the autumn Some things are gone, but never forgotten
2.
Pathways 03:34
Darkness will cover the face of the earth (ration the food 'cuz they shut down the factories) Endless the cycle of death and rebirth (pack up the nursery, call out the cavalry) Challenging damaging thoughts in your head Gather the children and put them to bed Maybe you'd rather fight dragons instead Four-footed tyrant not serving you well (balancing sanity, shun mediocrity) Claims he's the draftsman of personal hells (counting the casualties, raising the salaries) Getting a Starbucks to pilot the drones Try not to hit any schools or homes Sit by the fire and silence your phones Sit by the fire Shadows projects of who you will be (haunting the hills of some long-distant memory) Hang your provisions up high in the tree (back to the basics to mute the complexity) No window seat left on this mission to Mars Can't fight the boredom by counting the stars There is still life in this world of ours There is still life There is still life
3.
Falling Out 03:20
Proofread papers coming home after work As you'd fix dinner, I'd rub my eyes in the dark Burning out, but we'll make it through Imagine all the relief But you ended up falling out of love with me You ended up falling out of love with me Frequent phone calls, struggle to manage your time Misplaced wristwatch, no wonder you're falling behind Swept away in the undertow, floating out on your grief And you ended up falling out of love with me You ended up falling out of love with me Planned a road trip out of town Down the block the car broke down Why that happens, who's to know? Windows opened sometimes close Angry morning, stumbling into the day Heard no warning, keeping the anger at bay Held me tongue, and I held my breath Little more I could do and I might have been falling out of love with you I might have been falling out of love with you
4.
My student loan bill has come due This week I turned in my annual review Exceeding my goals got me raise Hovering above the inflation rate The State of the Union means more than it did Far more than it did back when I was a kid Now that I'm older and I understand It's hard to believe things are going as planned The State of the Union means more than it did, far more than it did The State of the Union's affecting us all United we stand and divided we fall Giving campaign deducting my pay Send my regards to the United Way The State of the Union means more than it did Far more than it did back when I was a kid Now that I'm older and I understand It's hard to believe things are going as planned The State of the Union means more than it did, far more than it did Credit is paid where the credit is due Someone's to blame, but we're not blaming you Realize wincing that we've been deceived We blinded ourselves 'cuz we want to believe Credit is paid where the credit is due Someone's to blame, but we're not blaming you Realize wincing that we've been deceived We blinded ourselves 'cuz we want to believe Try to stay close, follow my lead Keep yourself free from corruption and greed We'll try not to judge, we'll fight for your cause We'll try to ignore all the character flaws The State of the Union means more than it did Far more than it did back when I was a kid Now that I'm older and I understand It's hard to believe things are going as planned The State of the Union means more than it did, far more than it did
5.
Cabin Light 02:51
Called support and put on hold Did the things that I was told Called you up when I got off the phone Ask you how your day has gone and listen if there's something wrong It's okay if you need time alone The cabin light is shining in the dark Illuminates the pathway to my heart You tell me not to think but feel and ask me if my wounds are healed if there's any way to make it right Over-read and overwhelmed Time to make a sweeter sound I just wanna make it through the night The cabin light is shining in the dark Illuminates the pathway to my heart Analyze myself to death Never stop to catch my breath When there's nothing buried to be found Maybe you don't understand Maybe it's the way I am A thousand holes are scattered on the ground The cabin light is shining in the dark Illuminates the pathway to my heart The cabin light is shining in the dark Illuminates the pathway to my heart
6.
Rings 05:08
She gave back the ring on a Saturday Sick of the same threadbare lines Tearing her heart and tugging her mind She gave it due thought, she gave it due time The writing's on the wall Though we never meant to fall The problem is we were only kids when we married A suitcase on the floor and a letter by the door "It's time I dig up all the dreams I had buried." The faucet would drip in the wake of the arguments Confidence tattered and torn, but a flag flying high As memories march over the fields Alone on the porch, I'm often reminded of all the hours when I'd Lie awake at night and pretend that I'm alright I see self-deceit's such a tragedy now I'm older It's time I make amends with my family and friends and console the girl I had told to stand in the corner Inquired if I have any regrets I carry them still Not as stones, but as feathers So she gave back the ring on a Saturday
7.
Numb was this heart of mine Running out the clock and running out of time Birds in the morning sing If you focus on the past you can't hear anything Her name is love, tell me, have you seen her? I write the joys on a piece of paper Reminds me of a life I need to live and love I need to give Learn to laugh and love again Many times I thought that I was at the end Looking east when I lived out west Oblivious to all the ways I had been blessed Her name is love, tell me, have you seen her? I write the joys on a piece of paper Reminds me of a life I need to live and love I need to give Living in the moment I don't know what that means I'd like to think I'm learning now by seconds and degrees My love is always helping and showing me the way The distance is uncertain but I'm closer everyday Her name is love, tell me, have you seen her? I write the joys on a piece of paper Reminds me of a life I need to live and love I need to give
8.
Tell me it plain, I don't understand So draw me a map, or show me a plan Give me a sign as fast as you can I don't want to be second guessing Do you, oh do you have feelings for me? It's so hard to tell, and you're so hard to read I'm being as patient as patient can be But please tell me, do you have feelings for me? This nagging doubt's a formidable flaw I've never been good at the hem or the haw Wanting your love, but I'm grasping at straws I don't want to be second guessing Do you, oh do you have feelings for me? It's so hard to tell, and you're so hard to read I'm being as patient as patient can be Do you, oh do you have feelings for me? Here on the fence is the wrong place to sit A saddle-sore heart and a mouth full of grit A nuclear dusk, the atoms are split I don't want to be second guessing Do you, oh do you have feelings for me? It's so hard to tell, and you're so hard to read I'm being as patient as patient can be Do you, oh do you have feelings for me? Do you, oh do you have feelings for me?

credits

released September 4, 2019

Guitars, bass, vocals, whistle, keys, bells: Ben Hoganson
Songs and lyrics: Ben Hoganson
Keyboards on "Pathways": Victoria Malawey
Backing vocals on "Cabin Light": Victoria Malawey
Art and photography: Ben Hoganson

Recorded and mixed at home in Saint Paul, Minnesota.

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Ben Hoganson Saint Paul, Minnesota

Singer-songwriter based in Saint Paul, Minnesota.

Side acts: Scattered to Broken

Past acts: Duplomacy

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